The Nurse Beat Me Up

My immunization records weren't complete so I had some making up to do. I got four shots and my blood drawn. No lollipop.








I had to go back again today for a tb test. That was gross and painful.

The legend of the beast goes back a long time...

We manly men went for a camping and fishing trip at Ruth Lake this August. And by manly men I of course mean Julianne, Ethan, Kaleb, Jaden, myself, Charles, Curtis, and Brycetopher. We were all very excited to go, some of us even started planning and packing weeks in advance.

Most of us carried our own packs while others loaded up a handcart (wheelbarrow) and hiked about one mile from our cars to the lake.

I had the world’s worst job interview that afternoon so I headed up to the lake a few hours after the others, however, I got to the camp site just as they were putting up the tents. I must have missed A LOT on the journey up. I did hear that each of the little boys took turns carrying Ethan’s heavy pack, they were concerned for how Julianne was going to cross the scary gush of water (6 inches wide) without anyone to help her after she helped everyone else cross, and each took turns reading the map. I hear Kaleb was especially helpful at this. When asked which direction they were heading, Kaleb responded, “the wrong direction.”

When I got to on the trail it was raining and Julianne was supposed to meet me and hike to the site with me, but she wasn’t there and I seriously considered just bailing and going to the cabin with all the girly men and babies for the night.

It rained off and on most of the night but I am glad I stayed because we had lots of fun learning how to set up tents

build fires

pee in the wilderness

eat “food” over a fire

tell scary stories

hike and explore

and we all took turns teaching and learning how to catch fish. Some of us were better teachers than others.

Dad was the real expert (but he was too much of a wuss to spend the night).

Everyone was able to catch a fish

The girly men came and visited us for a few minutes.

I think we ended up with 14 fish.

Ok, what else did I miss?

Training is for sissies.

Dad ran a relay marathon today, September 11, 2010 and he hasn't been running for 3 weeks. Impressive, no? I got to the race just in time to see him run by with about a mile left to go and saw him finish so I don't have a lot of details. You'll have to call him and ask more about it. I do know that he only walked up the hills which is way better than what he did last year. I also know that his cowokers are all jealous of him and hope to still be doing these races when they are as mature and experienced as Dad is.

He ran so fast all I got a picture of was the dust in his tracks!

...my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight...

I thought I would update everyone on how my first few weeks of my new professional life are going. To start on a positive note, I really do love teaching PE. I think it's something I am good at and find joy in helping children develop skills and introduce them to games and activities they think are fun. Plus they're getting exercise when they don't even realize it. It is so gratifying when I hear kids scream, "Miss Ashton! I did it!"

The weather has been nice so I get to be outside, instead of on 1/4 a basketball court in the gymeteria with the lunch kids and the middle school PE class. However, there is no drinking fountain outside and it's very hot so I hear kids complain about the heat (which is valid for the younger kids) and asking every 30 seconds to get a drink of water inside the building.

The staff at the school are very kind and fun...but not really helpful. I still have no idea where I fit in in the whole part-time faculty nonsense and don't really know when I need to be at school and meetings and stuff. And I didn't get a school laptop :-( So I either have to ask a million questions or wait until someone tells me I'm doing something wrong (which hasn't happened yet.)

I share an office with 5 other people. They are all fun people that I really like, especially my former high school PE teacher who teaches the middle school PE classes. But our office is like a bat cave up in the corner above the stage and we have 1 tape dispenser to share between us all and 1 power strip so half the time I go up there my desk is being used by someone else because it's next to an outlet.

I have made friends with the recess duty aides, which Mom tells me is good. Because my schedule is so lame, I often have breaks in between classes and I can't leave equipment laying out in the field outside, so I have to haul it all in and out and re-set everything up a few times a day. The duty aides started telling the vice principal that they need to buy me a cart to transport all of my equipment because last week I was carrying 30 hula hoops, a giant rope, and 4 cones and this week I'm carrying 27 bean bags, 15 foam footballs, 8 hula hoops, 8 small cones, 7 jumbo cones, 8 plastic dots, and a giant rope. It gets heavy and awkward and NO ONE holds open a door in elementary school. I doubt I'll get a cart but it's nice to have people on my side.

Somehow the principal got me to help coach the cross country team. I really cannot explain how it happened, I'm pretty sure there was paranormal activity involved because I don't recall saying yes or anything. It just happened. The other coach is the principal's wife and she is intense. Our coaching philosophies are very different and I disagree with a lot of what takes place at practice, but what can I do? She's the principal's wife. Despite the unsafe and ridiculous things she does, I can't really say anything. She does all the coaching and I run with the slow kids in the back and talk to all the parents. Fun.

So, lots of good things are happening at work. But some days no matter how much I love the job of teaching itself, the naughty kids who will not shut up, stop sitting on the cones, throw hula hoops over the fence, whine everyday, put ropes around their necks, and fart aloud really ruin it for me and I sit in my car on the way to and from work and wonder, "what am I doing here?" 95% of the 461 students I teach are wonderful, but it really is that last 5% that ruin it for me and for everyone. I have 3 simple rules and a "3 strikes and you're out" enforcement system but I have kids that can go through 3 strikes within 2 minutes of class. And unfortunately, I know that those kids need PE more than the quiet kids because they have so much energy to get out. So I try to be sympathetic and let them drive me crazy, but I have to be fair to everyone and I can't just talk over them all class period long. So I just get frustrated and the classroom teachers are no help at all.

And as for my grad school classes...I'm taking one 3-hour class on Wednesday nights and I have been 3 weeks now and have yet to learn a single thing. All we do is listen to people whine about their classrooms and their students and what is wrong with the education system. People are so excited to interact with people their own age instead of their students that they just go on and on and on and on and waste everyone else's time.

I love my new house. I live in the basement with my own bedroom and living room. I have my own bathroom but the washer and dryer is also in there so my roommates come downstairs to do laundry. It's like living by myself except for the laundry room, the kitchen, and the noise of others. I've spoken to each of my two roommates 3 times because we're all off working and busy so we hardly ever see each other. Which doesn't bother me except that they're too busy to clean up the kitchen mess and wash their dishes because our dishwasher is broken...and we all know how I feel about dirty kitchens...ugh...

All in all, life is good. I'm still hoping that this job is temporary and I'm still looking for a full-time job in a secondary school but until then I'll keep plugging along here.

You've got to be kidding me.

WARNING: This is a very long narrative.

Dad and I did the Rock Cliff Triathlon yesterday, Saturday June 26th up at Jordanelle Reservoir, which is a little past Park City in the mountains. And not to discourage those of you who have this newfound zeal to participate in endurance races, but I did not have fun yesterday.

We left the house before 6am and had to park 2.7 miles from where the race actually began and the transition area was set up. There were buses to take us down to the start except you couldn't take bikes on the bus. And seeing as how every participant save the swimmers and runners participating in the relays had a bike, we had to ride down our bikes to the start…WITH all of our gear. Getting there wasn't too bad because it was downhill or fairly flat so we weren't super worried about tiring ourselves out. Plus we got a chance to see what the last few miles of the bike course looked like.

The start wasn't until 9am which is actually pretty late for a race to start. I think they made it so late because most of us had to drive a long way to get there (not to mention the riding of the bikes in addition to the drive) and so that the lake could get a little warmer. And warmer it got. We waited around for the start…and waited…and waited…in our black wetsuits soaking up the hot sun. We had to wait for so long because there was all this driftwood in the lake right where we were supposed to go swimming. So they kept having the lifeguards on their surfboards go and move these huge branches out of the way, just in time for more to float over and the coast guard to motorboat over and clear that away. I was getting so hot that I couldn't wait to get in the water. And then when I finally started inching my way in I stepped in a hole and almost completely submerged myself instantly. I screamed and everyone just stared at me like an idiot. I explained that there was a hole and some smart broad says, "oh, now I know not to step there." Yeah. Glad to help you out.

The swim finally started and can I just say that I thought I was bad with map reading and having a horrible sense of direction, but wow. Some of these ladies were completely oblivious to their surroundings, and by surroundings I mean me. I got swatted and kicked so many times. And when I wasn't dodging rogue swimmers, I was dodging the entire Sherwood Forest that somehow found its way into the lake. I kept putting my hand in the water to start a stroke and then by the time my hand was behind me I'd have a twig between my fingers, or I'd hit my head on a log, scoop it out of the way, and then end up kicking it. Some people swam around all the debris, whether they did it on purpose or not and whether they were smarter or not I don't know, but I didn't want to have to do the extra swimming so I just did a straight shot through the wreckage.

When I got to the bike my crotch started hurting after about 5 minutes and I was so discouraged. But then after about 11 people passed me, I heard some music coming up behind me. We're not allowed to wear headphones, which really stinks, so this music was nice to hear. Then I recognized the song as Lady Gaga's smashing hit, "Poker Face," which made me think of Kaleb so that put me in a good mood. Then the source of the music, some kind of speakers on a woman's bike, quickly zoomed past me and was never heard again. Along the way, I saw 1 guy getting a tire pumped, lost my water bottle, almost gagged from the smell of barnyard animal fecal matter, and seriously considered getting off and walking back to the car. Despite the beautiful scenery, the relatively flat course, and the excitement of being in the race, I was miserable. I don't know what it is about riding a bike but I am not good at it and I really don't enjoy it. And getting passed up by people twice my age and twice my body fat is just one slap in the face after another.

So I finally get to the part of the bike course that we had already ridden down so I started to feel better because I knew there was a big hill I could coast down and I usually get a little burst of energy when I know I'm about to get off the bike soon. But when I get close to the transition area I saw all the sprint athletes packing up their cars and heading home and all of the olympic athletes well on their way on the run. And there's nothing more frustrating than seeing people finished when you still have a couple miles on the bike and 10k left to run. And then I look at where the runners are going and it is up this huge hill on the main road and I almost cried. I rode into the transition area, which is about half empty now because so many people have already finished, and nice people say encouraging things even though I know they're all thinking, "man, I'm glad I'm not her right now."

I start running, and I mean that in the loosest sense of the word, and it is so hot. I could not believe how hot and my water at the transition area was too warm to drink so I had to wait until the 1st aid station to get some, and if you recall I lost my water bottle at the turnaround point on the bike course. Needless to say, I was a little more than parched. But then Dad found me and gave me some of his water and said it was a long way until the aid station. I looked at him and told him I didn't think I could finish. I felt horrible, physically and mentally, and it was so hot. But I've never run to the point where I physically couldn't go anymore, the point where I literally couldn't take another step and I've always wondered what the point was. So I decided this was the day I was going to find out. I was pretty okay with not finishing because I knew I could say that I had actually given it everything I had.

The run was practically unbearable. In comparison to the Daybreak Tri, which is almost completely flat on a paved path, this was almost all up and down hills on a hiking trail that was washed out and full of rocks and dips and holes and trenches. My ankles were killing me from all of the uneven surfaces. The first mile was on a paved surface but it was brand new asphalt like looked like slightly melted chocolate chips and it made me want to hurl when I looked at it and you could feel the heat radiating off of it. So when I finish my 1st lap the announcer gets ready to say my number and the people cheer because they think I'm finished but then I have to keep going. The volunteers had abandoned the 2nd aid station so I had to flip a u-turn to go back and get some water for myself. Then Dad found me again and gave me more water and ran with me a little, bless his heart. Then I got to the 1st aid station again and they were out of water so they handed me this clear liquid that looked like water with a bug in it. The bug didn't bother me at this point but I threw that cup on my head and drank the other one. I then realized it was not water and almost gagged on it. Then I realized I had just dumped a mysterious sports drink all over me. So in addition to the permanent marker, lake water, sweat, bugs, and dirt I had all over me, I was now completely sticky.

Anyway, I was almost at the end of the run and I saw some older woman really struggling to finish her 1st lap and that gave me enough motivation to finish. I'm usually that person for a lot of people, so I don't feel bad being so insensitive to this particular woman. Now, after all the races I've done, marathon included, I'm pretty sure this was the hardest most unenjoyable thing I've ever done. And I'm still not sure why, but it was rough.

I finally finished and just wanted to jump in the lake or take a nap. But then I realized the finish line was a bout a mile away from the transition area where all our stuff was. We had to walk all the way back…and some people ran back and I just wanted to slap them. We got our stuff and then had to do the 2.7 mile ride in the other direction to the car, this time going UP the hill and the second I got on the bike I knew I couldn't make it. So bless Dad's heart after about a mile, he left me with all our gear and rode up to get the car and come back for me.

I finally got to sit down and some girl whose husband also went to go get their car sat next to me and showed me some nasty blisters on her feet. She kept talking to me and I really was not in a good mood but I couldn't get up or get away so I had to try and be polite. But then about 30 minutes passed and I was starting to get worried about Dad. When he came he told me the car battery died and he had to get a jump from someone. The perfect ending to the perfect day.

Be Careful Who Your Friends Are

It has been quite some time since I have spent time with people my own age everyday. In December I finished taking classes with my cohort and started student teaching in January, when all of my days were spent with junior high girls. Then I graduated and moved back home and started going to Reagan Academy with elementary children. I also have spent more time with the little boys. So basically my social circle includes people age 12 and under. Now, don't think I'm complaining or lonely, I'm just warning you that it's true that the people you spend your time with become your friends and friends do have a powerful influence over you.

Kaleb has recently discovered the phrase "a rotten egg" so every time we sit down to eat he says, "whoever is sitting in the middle is the rotten egg," or "whoever finished first/last is the rotten egg," or "whoever is sitting in the wrong seat is not the rotten egg," etc. Well, when I was at school yesterday some third graders kept moving a cone and it was making me crazy so after about the 3,517 time telling them to leave it alone I said, "next person to touch the cone is a rotten egg!"

Then I stopped and just laughed. Peer pressure from a 3 year-old, whooda thought.

Uno Mas

We ordered this picture because I think I look amaaaazing (singsong tone). So I thought I would share the wealth.

On a sidenote. I interviewed at UVU yesterday for the master's program and got an email today saying that I've been accepted, which I am quite shocked about. I don't know if it's what I want though…so, I have more decisions to make and I'm not having fun.